The kids and I spent a wonderful Christmas with family all around. It was such a great time. I can't believe the year is almost over. Cianna is already 3 months and weighing in around 12 lbs. Wow she's a big girl :) And Adrian is growing right along with her. I truly have been blessed this year!
So here we are just a few days old and I've already been pooped and peed on! LOL Yesterday we bathed Cianna for the first time since getting home. I wrapped her in a towel and before you know it her cute little face turns red and out comes some poop! Oh dear! So I of course change out the towel and as I am doing that she starts to pee. Oh man who ever said girls can't aim were seriously mistaken. It was like a water fountain. So I got pee all over my shirt and down to my socks. Another towel later while drying off there comes more poop! Finally I get her changed and ready for bed. She gets up around 1 a.m. for her night time feeding and I change her diaper. I fed her and then change her diaper again - but not before she pees all over my bed and poops all over the blanket. With a diaper finally on I go to place her in her bassinet and guess what? She decided to poop again! OH MY!!! That's a lot of poop! My fault really I just added breastmilk in addition to her formula and her little tummy is adjusting. I've changed more diapers today then I have since the day she was born. I can't help but laugh and even find a little joy in changing so many diapers. I truly love my little girl. I love my son too. So really my life is so complete at this moment!
Cianna Rain was born Monday the 14th at 10:48 in the morning. I got to the hospital at 5 am and was induced just after 6 a.m. It was a bit scared because I didn't know what to expect. Everyone kept saying sit back and relax because inductions take a long time-but I always says nobody but themselves knows their own body better. My first delivery was a whole 5 hours long from first contraction to finish. I knew this one would be just as fast if not faster. The contractions started coming and around 8:40 my Dr came in to break my water. Just after that I asked for my epidural. While they were paging for that, my contractions kept getting stronger. HOLY HELL!! I have never experienced anything so painful in my life!!! With Adrian I got the epidural way before I felt much pain of any kind. These contractions seemed to last minutes and were only 30 seconds apart. My body was seriously convulsing with the pain. Finally the guy with my epidural got there and started explaining the process. I wanted to yell at him "I don't care about the explanation just stick the damn needle in me" !!!! But I was in too much pain. So here I am on the bed with my back exposed and my butt flapping away (I was shaking with pain) thanking God for drugs and praying the guy would hurry up. Finally I felt the sting of the needle and I was in a blissful state. I went numb...it was heaven for a bit but then my blood pressure dropped and well lets just say he eased off on the meds. No dripper for me. I could feel my legs again and felt everything that went on just no exruciating pain. Then my nurse, her name was Pat and she reminded me of those old school army nurses, anyway she flips me over in one quick move and checks to see if I am dialated. I was feeling a little violated but all propriety goes out the window with birth! She said I was ready! Holy moly a few more minutes and I would have had no time for an epidural. The Dr was paged and not to long after my beautiful baby girl was born! Then it started pouring down rain :) LOL But we had already picked out the name Rain for her middle name. Joe wanted to name her Rainie I compromised and made Rain her middle name. He of course will call her Rainie wether I like it or not or maybe just to annoy me but I think Cianna is a beautiful name. And together Cianna Rain, is just perfect for my little girl. Anyway she was born 6 lbs 7 ounces and 18 inches long. I never thought I'd have any more children, just Adrian and I was ok with that- but now I can't imagine my life without Cianna. I truly am blessed.
There's nothing like hearing about someone Else's problems to put some perspective on yours. This weekend I've been bummed, to say the least, because of certain issues in my personal life. I've moped around, cried, and just been crabby. Then this morning I open my email to find a letter my sister had sent me. See, my almost 8 year old nephew, Caleb, suffers from seizures and has been struggling with this illness for quite some time now. He's been put on all kinds of medications and those are damaging other things. Like his organs!!! Lately, his kidneys. Which hits close to home, seeing as how i work with patients in kidney failure. It is so hard to imagine that such a small child could be put through so much. I would, as any in my family would, give an organ, cells, heck a leg, an arm, to cure him but there is nothing we can do and that just makes it worse. When you are a parent all you want to do is take your childs pain away-knowing that you can't is painful. Anyway my sister, who is the rock in our family, you could tell, is closing in on hitting rock bottom. All of a sudden my personal issues seemed so petty. So insignificant! Here I am "crying over spilled perfume" when my sister, my nephew and her whole immediate family really, is going through some real trials. So i've stopped crying over my own silly issues and decided to do all I can to help my sister. My problems are nothing compared to a child in pain. We could all learn from it really. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget that there are so many out there that are suffering. Not only is he sick but the insurance covers minimal things for his treatment. So they've spen thousands of dollars out of pocket and still have more than 15 months of just one treatment. If the meds do even more damage to his little body then there will be extra things to pay for. Who can afford to pay 800 dollars a month in medication? Health care sucks! I don't believe people should suffer because of how expensive the system is.
Anyway my message to all - pray. Pray for my nephew. and pray that we will all stop being so selfish and help those in need. And praying for me to find a couple hundred thousand to help them pay for medical expenses would be nice too!
So here I am 5 weeks away from my due date and I can hardly stop moving from being so anxious. I just want thing to be perfect. I have almost everything I need for the birth of my daughter yet I feel so unready. Perhaps because things aren't as I imagined them this time around. There are so many things I'd like to be different.But at the same time life is something that comes and we either live it or let it pass us by. I am determined to live it. I can hardly wait to hold her in my arms. I ask for a healthy baby. I can't wait for Adrian to interact with his baby sister. To have that bond that all siblings have. I realize there is such an age difference (Adrian just turned 10 tuesday) that they may never be close but he is such a good kid that I know she'll be special to him. I also can't wait for Joe to finally hold his daughter. I know it's been hard for him because I'm the one carrying her but he'll finally get to be a parent and enjoy the blessings that come with that. I feel anxious,scared,and so very happy at the same time. Who knew those feeling were possible all at the same time? :)
Parenting is a hard thing to do. Its one of those things that I believe no one knows just what they are getting into intil they have a kid. But then there is no going back, well for most responsible people anyway. There are always the men who spread their seed but dont take time to cherish it and the women who decide to give away their children. No one is prepared to be a parent no matter how much they plan for (or dont) a child. (I realize not everything is black in white) I have the fortune of being the mother of a 9 year old boy who is my adoration! Though I never could have imagined that having him would have had that affect on me. Except for when I was in elementary school still playing with dolls I never thought I'd have a child or even want one. I had big plans and none of them included children. I didn't like children.
You know when the world seems to conspire against you....and there is nothing you can do to stop it? That's was today. Ok, Ok, so I'm being a bit dramatic but I've come to learn that being pregnant you can be dramatic. Hell, blame it on the hormones, it really is a good excuse. I woke up at 4:25 a.m to get ready for work and I new it was gonna be "one of those days." My allergies are killing me, my tailbone hurts, my legs and feet are swollen and my fingers ache. Yeah I think thats most of it. Oh joy! I decided long ago, before this pregnancy, that I am just not good a being pregnant. There are some woman that thrive at it. I hate them, just for that. :)
Who wants to be emtional, fat, swollen, tired, achey, hungry and naseous at the same time? Honestly, how do women pop out 10 kids? Anyway, back to my woes...work sucked. I work in dialysis and though things can go wrong all the time it really wasn't that bad of a day. However, when you add all the mentioned list of woes above, it makes for a crappy day. T.V sounds annoy me, even patients I like annoyed me, and yes I really want someone to say "don't worry I'll pick that up from the floor cause I know you don't bend down as easy as you used too!" Really is that so much to ask?
Perhaps for some it is. Lazy ass people! Ok, that was my venting for the day. Besides that things are going swell. My baby girl is growing and kicking (a lot). I've only gained 11 lbs so far and the doc says everything is going just fine. I am so excited about the 11 lbs (as oppossed to the 65 lbs I gained with Adrian) that i've decided to post pics. Just humor me,ok? I was never into girls showing off their belly but somehow this time around I think it's cute :) And yes, you even get the bare belly!
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